Have You Actually Found the One?
Say what you will, but everyone loves a fairytale ending: the part of the story where you find the right person and settle down forever.
Of course, it takes work to find and maintain that ending. If you’ve started thinking that you’ve found the person with whom you’re going to spend forever, then you’ve likely prepared yourself to put in that work.
It’s exciting when you think that you may have found the right person, but it’s important to take precautions before getting too excited. You want to make a decision with both your head and your heart. Make sure you’ve answered these questions before you jump in headfirst:
Where Are You Going to Live?
If you’re not already living together, this is a very important question. Are you going to move into the other person’s house? Will you both live in your current house? What are the logistics associated with moving into each other’s houses? Even if you do already live together, think of this in a more long-term context. Are you prepared to enter into a lease together, or perhaps purchase a house if you decide to settle down?
If you haven’t tackled these questions, you probably need to do some more communicating before making a final commitment.
Have You Discussed Long-Term Plans?
Maybe you don’t need to know where you each envision yourselves in 20 years. But each of you probably has at least an idea of where you want to end up. Do you want to attend or finish college? Do you plan to settle in this city for the rest of your life, or do you want to move eventually?
You also need to ask those sometimes-unsettling relationship questions, too. Do you want kids? What do you think about marriage? If you want to spend forever with this person, that means you’ll eventually approach that long-term.
Do You Feel Comfortable Having Open Discussions?
Ask any relationship expert, and they’ll say that communication is the single most important part of a relationship. If you have poor communication, the rest of your relationship will certainly suffer for it.
You need to make sure you’re open to having frank discussions. That doesn’t mean either of you has to be rude or snide about things. Nor does it mean that you can’t be in a non-communicative mood at times. It only means that you shouldn’t feel fearful or worried about sharing important things that come up. Think about how you’ve felt in the past when you’ve brought up important topics with this person. Have you felt safe bringing things up? And how have you felt when they need to talk to you?
Are You Talking About Finances?
Right up there with communication is money. No one likes talking about finances, but it’s an important part of life. You can’t expect things to run smoothly if you’re not willing to talk to each other about money.
That means treading a fine line between simply wanting to be fiscally responsible and refusing to allow your partner financial freedom. It makes sense to talk about it before making significant purchases. But if one of you freaks out when the other spends a few dollars on fast food without asking beforehand, there may be an underlying problem you need to address.
Are You Sure There Are no Hidden Secrets?
If you’re at this stage in your relationship, you’ve likely already reassured each other that there are no secrets between you. However, you may still have some doubts. Even if you’ve never had any reason to doubt your partner before, it can’t hurt to double check certain facts.
You can talk to your partner’s family and friends to get confirmation. But that’s a subjective ruling, and they may even lie to protect your partner. To try and get a more objective view, you could use PeopleFinders instead.
At PeopleFinders, you can try and make sure there are no secrets in anyone’s background. The extensive people search option gives you access to the information on millions of U.S. adults, possibly including your significant other.
If you are able to locate them in the database, you may also be able to perform a criminal records check to rule out any violent past behavior that could signal they aren’t necessarily safe to be around. It’s a great tool for trying to stay safe and learn more about anyone you’re close to.
Finding the right person in a sea full of unfamiliar faces is a magical moment. It’s a way to take on the world with someone by your side, and that’s beautiful. However, it’s also a decision you need to make with your eyes wide open. PeopleFinders may just help you locate the facts you need to determine you’ve actually found “the one.”
Image attribution: Polonio Video – stock.adobe.comTags: Communication, Dating, Marriage
Categorized in: Relationships