Polyamorous Dating – How to Respond to a Request for an Open Relationship
Relationships are fun and exciting! Just over half of all Americans are married, and even most non-married Americans are in a romantic relationship. However, people’s definition of a “relationship” differs; some people are more polyamorous than monogamous. Polyamory isn’t the same thing as cheating, as long as everyone is on the same page, so if your partner is interested in being with multiple people, he or she should at least come to you to talk about it.
If you’ve never been in an open relationship (or a polyamorous relationship), even just the request can be scary. You may need to take some time to think about it before coming back with a response to the request. Here’s how to formulate a response to a request for an open relationship, and what to do if you decide it’s right for you.
Think about how you really feel about an open relationship
Especially if you’ve never been in one, your knee-jerk reaction may be to refuse. Many people think of an open relationship as being the same thing as cheating in a relationship, or just generally hold monogamy as the standard in any relationship. Is it merely something that makes you uncomfortable? Are you just adhering to a cultural mindset that you’ve never really questioned? By thinking through these questions and others, you may be able to discover more about yourself, and more accurately determine the right response.
Talk to your partner about it
If you’re still not completely sure about the right response, you need to talk to your partner. Communication is the most important part of any relationship, and open relationships are founded on the basis communication and trust. Ask your partner about his or her desire for an open relationship, as well as what might’ve brought it on. If your partner has been in this type of relationship before, ask how that went. Your partner should be completely open about it and come at it in a respectful manner. If anything about the proposed relationship makes you feel uncomfortable or wary, get those feelings out on the table. Your partner should be able to provide concrete reasons why this type of relationship would be beneficial to both of you.
Every relationship needs boundaries, especially open ones. What would your open relationship look like? Discuss how many partners your significant other is asking you to share with. It’s also important to lay out anyone who might be off limits, such as friends or family members. These are all important things to determine when it comes to an open relationship, so neither of you feels uncomfortable in the future. So, at this point let’s assume you’ve decided to try it. What do you do now?
Keep up to date on your partner’s other partners
An open relationship doesn’t involve doing anything behind anyone’s back, so anyone you or your significant is with should know about your situation and be willing to meet your partner. You’ll likely have to put some feelings aside to some extent and see things in a broader sense. An open relationship (when done right) involves two people who simply want to see the other fulfilled, people who are not trying to “replace” anything. You shouldn’t be thinking of whether your partner finds someone else more attractive.
Another major factor is safety. After all, you’re bringing other people into your world, often people you know very little about. If you want to ensure someone is safe for your partner or you to be around, try using an online people search such as PeopleFinders. With PeopleFinders, you can find information using a general people search, perform a background check, or even look up criminal records if you’re concerned. You can alleviate any fears you may have.
Although it’s unconventional, there’s nothing wrong with being in an open relationship, as long as it’s done for the right reasons. If you’re asked about potentially being in an open relationship, stop and consider your inner thoughts and feelings before formulating a response. Your partner should respect your needing time to make this decision, and it’ll make sure that you don’t go into it with reservations. If you do agree, take the time to look up any of your significant other’s partners using PeopleFinders, so you can be sure that the both of you are safe at all times.
Categorized in: Relationships