Preparing for Divorce When Your Husband Is Cheating
People have been cheating on their partners for thousands and thousands of years. Many of the great leaders of ancient civilizations committed infidelity, and there are even myths from very early history that involve infidelity. Though many things have changed since then, one thing remains the same: it’s still incredibly painful to learn that you’ve been cheated on and your partner has no interest in making things work anymore.
Some relationships can rebuild after cheating, but sometimes your partner doesn’t want to rebuild the relationship. They just want to get out. Whether it’s because you know your husband won’t work with you and rebuild the trust between the two of you, or because you don’t feel comfortable continuing the relationship with such a broken bond, you need to know how to prepare for an oncoming divorce.
Make Peace With Yourself
Contrary to frequent belief, it’s not always young relationships where someone cheats. Two people can be married for fifteen years before someone decides to cheat, and it could be the first time they’ve cheated in any of their relationships. No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship, whether you’ve forgiven infidelity before, whether this is your first long-term relationship, it’s not going to be fun to accept what’s happened.
You need to get comfortable with the fact that you’re going to be divorced. If you do think through it and decide you’d rather pursue some kind of counseling, it’s good that you took the time to decide. Some marriages, however, just can’t continue after a cheating reveal, and it will be healthier for both parties to just split as amicably as possible under the circumstances.
Don’t blame yourself. Don’t get angry. Just recognize that it’s okay to be divorced, it doesn’t make you any worse of a person, and it’s not your fault.
Gather Information on Him
This step can be done before you even tell him that you know he’s cheating, or it can be done after you’ve already faced off with him. Either way, it’ll be helpful to have a list of the things he’s been doing, including phone numbers, people he’s been around, places he’s been staying, and any other extra names he’s used to try and cover his steps.
PeopleFinders’ reverse phone lookup can provide you with an extensive list of these things in a simple, easy-to-read format. On many phone numbers, you can find the address on the account, connection state, and current connection area, and other areas of PeopleFinders’ website are just as helpful. A public database makes it easy to find criminal information and financial records, as well as other collections of public information records.
Once you have all this information, you’ll have a concrete knowledge of who your husband is, simply based on his phone and online presence. It may create an entirely different image of him. Don’t be upset about it. All you’re doing here is creating a group of information, not influencing his actions.
This may not be your first confrontation. Whether he’s cheated before, you’ve had another intensely serious argument, or you already confronted him about this particular issue but you need to explicitly tell him you want a divorce, it could be something you’ve had experience with. But it could also be your first ever real confrontation. Either way, it never gets any easier. You have to just take a deep breath and talk to him, hoping he’ll understand the same way you will.
When you tell him that you need to get a divorce, be straight to the point. Don’t waste words, don’t tell him how much you hate unrelated things he’s been doing, just tell him that his cheating is going to mean the end of your relationship, and then leave it there. He will probably be upset, especially if this wasn’t your confrontation about his cheating, but it may still be the better option. It’s not exciting or happy, but it may be best in the long term.
There is nothing that can make divorce easier. It’s hard, and it always will be hard for anyone who got married to someone they love. But sometimes, a marriage just can’t be salvaged, and sometimes it’s because of cheating.
If your marriage has to end because of cheating, make sure you go into it with all the right information. Use PeopleFinders’ reverse phone lookup to get your husband’s information, and then use that to let him know that your relationship can’t continue.
It won’t be easy. But if it’s better for you, then you will be healthier and happier.
Categorized in: Relationships