Is My Husband Cheating On Me?
Rates of infidelity have always been substantially higher than most people believe, with up to 70% of people saying that they would cheat if they knew they wouldn’t get caught. But even in a shocking statistic like that, 30% said they wouldn’t cheat no matter what. Just because you’re worried or suspicious, it doesn’t mean that your husband is certainly cheating on you, just that you’re finding some things that make you wonder.
So, what do you do with that wondering? Don’t just sit there and tear your hair out with worry while you try to think about whether you’re right. Instead, you need to take a few steps to either confirm or deny your suspicions. When you have the concrete evidence in hand, you’ll feel better about the situation, even if your worst fears do end up being confirmed.
Does He Try to Reject Your Anger Before You’re Even Angry?
If you have a quick temper, it can be totally normal for people to reassure you that there’s nothing wrong when they have to break some kind of information to you. But if you don’t have a short fuse, there’s no reason for people to do that. If he starts to react defensively when you ask him a simple question about where he’s going, that’s not a good thing.
Try doing little things like asking him if you can use his phone to look something up. A bit of griping is normal, especially if you already have your own phone, but most people will hand it over. If he seems incredibly reluctant, or refuses altogether, especially if he didn’t do that a few months ago, it’s likely a warning sign.
Does He Try to Make You Seem Like You’re Overreacting?
This is a classic way to downplay your genuine concerns. If he can make it seem like your fears are completely unfounded, he can make anything you worry about seem silly. He should be taking your fears into account, understanding why you’re worried about things, and then explaining what he’s doing and why. Healthy relationships are built on proper communication anyway; you need to be communicating, even when that communication is uncomfortable.
Make sure that when you start to worry that he’s cheating or hiding something from you, you can tell him about it. It shouldn’t be an accusation if you tell him that you feel uncomfortable because it seems like he’s making someone else more important than you are. Let him explain, of course, but be wary if he’s constantly telling you that you’re “overreacting” or “reading too far into it.”
Are His Answers Not Matching Up?
Of course, this is the way most people get caught. Lying is tricky; you have to be able to balance a whole bunch of different falsehoods and remember who has access to the truth and who is being told what story. If he somehow tells you the wrong story, or tells your best friend a different story than he told you, you’ll definitely know that something’s wrong. You don’t have to jump to the worst case scenario of cheating, but it means something’s not right.
A great way to grab information that he might not even know he’s contradicting himself on is PeopleFinders’ reverse phone lookup. Use it with his current phone number to get names, details, addresses, and even more that’s connected with the number. It even leads into a public records database that may find even more damning information, depending on what kind of things you’re asking him.
You don’t have to grill him like it’s a questioning session, just ask him little things. If he keeps telling you the same kind of garbage, you can always just tell him that you have the information already. Even his response to that can be telling — if he has nothing to hide, there’s no reason for him to be shocked or angry. If he is hiding something, though, he may have an intense reaction to knowing that you made your own choice.
Lots of people worry about cheating, from the most well-known celebrities to people who are content doing the same thing every day in a moderate suburb. If you really want to know whether your husband is cheating on you, you’ll have to take some prerequisite steps. Eventually, you’ll be able to pick up on it one way or another, and you won’t have to worry anymore.
Remember, you’re not hurting him by getting your own information. He’s hurting himself by cheating. You’re defending yourself.
Categorized in: Relationships