For you, dating may be something casual, something that you do to have fun. Or you could be dating in order to find a long-term relationship, someone with whom you could share the rest of your life.
But in that case, what if the person you’re dating has already found a long-term partner? There are affair websites and people looking to hook up with other married individuals. But there’s a more sinister form of affair where the married person doesn’t even disclose their marriage to their new partner.
Why do this? Simply, the immorality and danger of engaging in such a relationship can be exciting to some people.
When the truth comes out about this kind of relationship, it’s bound to destroy much more than just that person’s marriage. As one of the people being lied to, you may feel awful knowing your partner kept such a secret from you for that long. You may feel as though it’s partially your fault. And, especially if you’re morally opposed to affairs, you can have a crisis of conscience.
Finding out the truth at the beginning is the best way to avoid these problems. What are some signs that could indicate your partner is married?
They might be:
- Chatting with you at strange times
- Never letting you meet their family or friends
- Being distant during holidays and other special occasions
- Paying for things with cash
Only Chatting at Strange Times
A married person probably tends to spend their spare time with their family and/or spouse in the evenings or on the weekends. If your date only seems able to talk to you late in the evening or during business hours on weekdays, there might be something fishy going on.
Even if your partner isn’t married, he or she may be catfishing you or otherwise involved in tricking you. Try to set up a voice or video chat on your time, and see what they say.
You’ve Never Met Your Partner’s Friends
Sure, it may take a little bit of time before you’re comfortable enough with each other to meet your extended circle of friends. However, eventually, you should start meeting some of the people in your partner’s inner circle. If you’ve started introducing your mate to your friends, but he or she doesn’t seem interested in doing the same, there could be something wrong.
It’s especially suspicious if your partner makes excuses as to why you can’t meet the other friends. It could be that your partner is worried that word will get back to a spouse.
Strangely Distant During the Holidays
The holidays are times to be around your family. Is your partner absent around those times? It could mean that he or she can’t get away from a spouse and family responsibilities.
The holidays that you should be most suspicious of are Christmas and Thanksgiving. They are generally considered multi-day holidays, and many people take family trips during these times.
Almost Always Pay in Cash
Sure, bad credit could be the issue. But paying in cash for everything is pretty rare this day and age. It may very well relate to someone covering their tracks. By using cash, there’s no paper trail and no reason to answer to a spouse who has equal access to a bank account or credit card statement.
If you notice a lot of cash exchanging hands when you’re out with your partner, it could be time to get suspicious.
How Can I Find Out for Sure?
There are a few other ways to tell for sure if you’re dating someone who’s married. The clearest option is to have your partner tell you about it directly. But the likelihood of you asking and then them just coming out and telling you is pretty low.
You can do some searching on social media to try and find out their relationship status. Or try to get in contact with your partner’s friends. You can consult a public records search site and see if you can verify their relatives, friends, and other known associates.
All in All…
When worrying about cheating in a relationship, most people think about someone else cheating on them. They rarely recognize that they could, in fact, be someone’s cheating accomplice. Even if it’s unwitting, finding yourself in this position can be emotionally devastating. You may feel guilt as well as your own sense of betrayal.
If you want to make sure that your partner doesn’t have a spouse, do a little research first. After all, you can’t necessarily expect your partner to come clean about it. Make sure you have the knowledge you need to confront a partner with incriminating evidence, or to break it off before things go too far.
For more information on ways to deal with cheating and other relationship challenges, be sure to read the PeopleFinders blog.
Image attribution: terovesalainen – stock.adobe.com
