Once You’ve Reconnected…Then What?

March 13th, 2013

Congratulations! Thanks to PeopleFinders.com, you’ve found your old high school sweetheart, classmate, or long lost friend. But now that you’ve made the initial contact, what’s next?

For most people, meeting someone they have not seen in years or perhaps decades can present a very nerve-wracking experience. Most people find themselves quite anxious in these situations, sometimes so much that coping with them seem almost impossible. Luckily, PeopleFinders.com has a few tips that are sure to alleviate some stress and make for a much more enjoyable meet-up.

How to Pick a Great Meeting Place

Find a place or activity that’s fun and laid-back, such as miniature golf or bowling. Something like this will surely spark fun competition and playful joking to help break the ice. Other good options are fun restaurants that offer up a unique experience, relaxing vibe, and warm ambiance. If you’re both comfortable, then the conversation will flow more easily. For obvious reasons, don’t choose a place that’s too loud or rowdy. If you feel that you both share a common interest, then museums or art galleries are also good choices. Such places will give you plenty to talk about. Avoid places like movies or plays where you’ll just have to sit in silence. You might also want to avoid places from your past that might be awkward or uncomfortable for either of you. For example, if Great Skate Roller Rink & Arcade Fun Zone is the place where Jeremy what’s-his-name broke your friend’s heart, you might want to steer clear.

Simple, Yet Effective Tips

1. Pre-plan. Make sure you choose a place that both of you agree to and are comfortable with. If it’s a place you’ve never been to before, visit ahead of time just to get the lay of the land. Being familiar with your surroundings will be helpful for both of you. Get directions, learn what the parking situation is, and find out what, if anything, you need to bring with you.

2. Ask questions. Most people have no problem talking about themselves—after all, everyone’s an expert on his or her own self! Once you’ve learned what your friend has been up to; the conversation will flow more smoothly, it will almost lead itself.

3. Listen. Asking questions is all well and good, but if you’re not listening to the answers, you’re not having a real conversation. Listen and ask follow-up questions, or find a way to relate to what your friend is saying.

What Not to Do

1. As tempting as it may sound, try to avoid gossip. You never know who you might offend and it doesn’t make you look good. Keep it simple and light-hearted at first. You’re re-acquainting yourselves, so take it slow.

2. Unless you or your friend is a congressman or pastor, try to avoid talking about sensitive topics like politics or religion.

3. By all means, please, please, please put your phone away! Unless you want to share pictures with your friend, there is no reason why you should be messing with your phone during a first meet-up. It’s rude and counter-productive.

Follow these simple guidelines, and you’ll find that your re-connection is a successful one and possibly one that leads to many more years of friendship.

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